Flesh-eating gypsies, psychotic bus drivers and more...

Last weekend was a holiday weekend in Italy, a country which, despite being the seat of the biggest corporation in the world, ie The Catholic Church, is mainly secular. One of the many benefits of having the Pope live in your country is that you get a bunch of government-mandated religious holidays (Yea, I know, sounds like a paradox but, what, you actually thought church and state were separated in Italy?) that are generously extended by this leisure-time-loving people, such as (in completely random, off-the-top-of-my-head order): an extended Christmas break (barely anyone works between Christmas and New Year's), Immaculate Conception, All Saints' Day, Carnival, extended Easter holiday, including their version of Labor Day, as well as Liberation Day, and Feast Day of the Republic Day (their kind of 4th of July, although America's is much more involved and unique with all the red-white-blue fireworks and patriotism.) As with most government workers, you're on the shit end of the stick with regards to pay but a lucky POS when it comes to time off-- especially working in schools (which are mostly state-run in Italy.)

I like to say: Don't ask why, but "why not?"

Anyway, so I hopped over to Berlin for the All Saint's Day "pausa" since we also had Monday off because it was the Legnano Feast Day. How convenient.

Before I tell you how I once again got my ass semi-miraculously saved once again (please refer to this blog posting and this one too, to understand what I'm referencing), you need to know that Malpensa Airport is approximately 50km/31miles northwest of central Milan, and Legnano is about halfway between Milan and Malpensa.

So, I came back on Monday night at 10:20, collected my luggage promptly at 10:30 and searched for the shuttle bus back to Gallarate train station so I could get the train back to Legnano (G-town is 2 towns over.) Hmm. No shuttle to be found. Apparently, it stops running after 10pm. Surprise, surprise. Well, my other options remained as follows:

1. Take a 1 hour bus ride to central station, take a 15 minute ride on 2 subway lines to go 5 stops to get to the train station that takes me back to Legnano in 30 minutes. *Sigh.*
2. Take a 20 minute taxi ride for 50 euros. *Double sigh.*
(*NB: There is also the Malpensa Express Train, which gets you to Milan central station in 40 minutes flat, but it only runs until 9pm, after which, you are forced to take the bus.)

After discussing with a bus driver who urges me to call someone, anyone, to come pick my desperate ass up instead of going all the way into the city only to go halfway back-- especially because, with two tote bags and a full size luggage (hey, I was bringing back my winter gear that I initially left in Berlin when I got there in the beginning of September), I would likely miss the last train to Legnano anyway, which departs at 12:29 sharp each night, and probably be eaten alive by gypsies. And other horrible unmentionable things. It's now 10:36pm.

Needless to say, I got a lil tense. But I had to get on the bus, because I was S.O.L. It leaves at 11. I suddenly get the urge to ask the bus in front of us when they're leaving, in the hopes that they will leave sooner than the one I'm on. Good as done. Bus no. 2 tells me they're leaving in 5 minutes, so I hop on. I sit down in a huff, still frazzled and worried about the cannibal gypsies stationed at central station.

I have this habit (a lucky one, in this occasion) of always sitting down in the first or second rows on buses if available, mostly because I like to get on and get off the vehicle easily. Same goes for airplanes (though that doesn't mean I fly first class.) Cars obviously don't really matter in this case. Anyhow, my other idiosyncrasy/flaw is that people can read me like a book. Once again, not necessarily a bad habit to possess in this occasion. I plop down in my seat behind the bus driver, all in a huff. Bus driver asks me if I'm alright, what's the matter, am I tired, yatta yatta. I rattle off a list of things that I hate about Italy, topping it off with the public transportation system closing down without alternatives promptly at 12:30, further explaining that now it will take me triple the time to get my ass home since I have to [list steps mentioned above to get home here...]if I get home at all.

Bus driver sympathizes and then asks me where I live, and I say Legnano. He says "Sei nata con la camicia." Which basically means "You are one lucky chick." My eyes widen with curiosity, knowing that something magical-- or potential dangerous-- is about to happen in the very near future. He tells me that this bus company's headquarters is in Legnano. And that after driving to central station, he has to drop off the ticket money from his shift at the office, which is actually located on my street. Of course I'm ecstatic at this point, but a little weary on the psycho factor. But once we get chatting on the way to Milan, we talk about our respective families, my travels and what the hell I'm doing in Italy, I see pictures of his family on his cell phone, etc, and generally feel better about the situation.

Anyway, it all ends with me being dropped off (like a rockstar, I might add) in a full size coach bus, right in front of my doorstep. At 12:15am. Talk about curbside service.